FREEDOM?

Four days ago, I received a call on my cell phone and it came from my friend, Sam, he has a problem. I told him to come to my house, so we can talk about it. I was sitting at the dinning area of the house together with my husband and my son when he arrived with his girlfriend and his second cousin. I entertained them on my small living room and asked him what's really going on. At first, he was hesitating to tell me, what the real problem was. So ashamed, he pulled out a bill from his wallet first and asked my son, Michael to buy a six bottle of beer for him and for my husband. As he sat down again, I felt that he was still uneasy. So I turned the television on to make everyone comfortable. I gave his two companions a fruit juice, while we were waiting for my son to return home. The moment the two girls finished sipping the drinks, he started telling me the problem. He introduced to me, his second cousin, and her name is "Gretta" and she’s the one who has a problem at that time.
She stands lower than five feet I think. She looks older than her age, pale and as if she was running away from somebody. She had a small orange back pack bag. My friend told me that Gretta run away from her home two days after his husband arrived home from abroad. She leaved her two kids just to escape from her husband, whom she described to me as evil to her. She also told me that this time; she leaved her husband and two sons for good because she can’t take anymore what her husband was doing to her. And also her parent-in-law is living at the second floor of the building where they are living and she is very sure that they will attend to them during her absence.

When Sam and her girl friend left, I asked Gretta to eat her dinner but she refused. I told her to go up stairs to take a rest and she followed. At around 11 P.M. my daughter, Kathy and her friend, Chie arrived home. And I introduced Gretta to them. The two ate their dinner and went upstairs right after. While Gretta and I were in the room, I don’t bother to ask her some more questions about the problem because I’ve seen her feeling uncomfortable. She lies down in bed, but she can hardly make a sleep. I get a comforter to fix the other room where my two daughters, Chie and Gretta will sleep. The next morning, I woke up 7:30 A.M.I cooked fried eggs, hot dogs, rice and bread for breakfast. Gretta went down stairs late for breakfast, because according to her she made a call to her friend in Cyprus. We were facing each other at the dinning table, eating our breakfast. She was about to finished eating, so I give her a glass of water. After drinking, she started telling me the story, why she runs away from her home.
According to her, John is the name of her husband and is a second mate officer, in one of the shipping agencies here in the Philippines that sail abroad. He has a salary of Php 80,000 monthly but he sends only Php 20,000 to Gretta for the family budget. I wonder how come, but I can’t ask why? She also told me that John required her to record all the expenses and not to miss even a single centavo so that he will know where the money goes every month. And she did it loyally. She’s not allowed to go anywhere by him. She’s only free to go with her kids during class hours. Sending and waiting them in school. And the worst of all, she should not entertain her own family or relatives and either give them financial support.
This time, I asked her the following questions that she honestly answered. Does your family know about all of this? Yes, some of them not close to me know only lately, but my mother and my closest relatives know this since we were in the province. How long you, John and your two kids been staying her in Manila? Almost two years. Is this the first time that you left home? No, this is my fourth time and this is final, she answered to me bravely. I was surprised. So, if this is the fourth time, where did you go to those times that you left your home? We were in the province at that time, so I would go to my parents house and stay there until, John would bring her mother and other relatives to suit me and promise not to make another trouble again. With this kind of her answer to me, I conclude that she’s a good mother and a good wife to her husband and she’s not doing any-thing wrong to him. Because he will not make his way to win her back, anytime she runs away from him. And her reason why she keep coming back home when John suit her again and again, was her two kids because they’re still young at that time. If that’s what you’re telling me, what kind of a husband is John? I asked curiously. Is he good to your kids? Yes, he is but for me he’s an evil! She said angrily. He’s a womanizer, a gambler, and a drunkard. And he doesn’t respect me at all! Gretta never take a rest answering me, I just go on. I can ignore his two vices but being a drunkard, I can’t.”Why”? I asked her again. He always started a fight every time he gets drunk. I followed all his commands just to keep me away from damages. I don’t want to fight back with him, because John throws and destroys everything that he may reach and hold. He also beat me. What did you do, when you and John made a quarrel? How about the kids and your parent-in law? I and my kids cried. My parent-in law tried to pacify him, but he never listens. They also advised him, but still here I am.”Oh my” I uttered.
Gretta was physically and mentally hurt. She also narrated the scenario of their last fight that made her decide to finally leave her family for good. I end up almost 12 noon talking to her. I felt very much relieve after talking with her. I am very much eager asking her questions, because I want to compare her case to other abused women. But then I realized that may be her case is one of the worst. That afternoon, my friend arrived again into our home to talk with Gretta, but this time it took us more than an hour giving her a piece of advices. We told her to be strong, to face the reality that she had to start all over again on what she decided. And that she can make it, because God never sleeps; I told her. Just keep on praying, someday your kids will make their own way, to look for you when their old enough to understand why you left them. We know that it will not be hard for her to look for a job because she finished, Education. All the while Gretta said, I felt as if I was a prisoner for twelve years, now I’m free! I left the two at the dinning table still talking and I don’t know where they ended up. Because at that night also my friend fetch Gretta, to bring her to the bus terminal to where she is going for a ride to Cagayan. And as they left, I get inside the house and take a sit again. While sitting, I said to myself, “may be Gretta was run out of tears for twelve years because I hadn’t seen a single drop of tears in her eyes while she was narrating to me the pain caused by her husband. And I thought that she did the right decision, because we should think that when there’s nothing left to care for, think of your self always!